Category: Uncategorized

Stupid Fucking Brain.

salaciouscrumpet:

I am, as is rapidly becoming tradition (yes, hello, thanks, anxiety and depression) trapped in a hell-spiral with regards to my writing. (This ended up super fucking long, so if you actually want to read this, I’ve put it after the break.)

Keep reading

First off, I want to thank the folks that’ve written me; I’ll reply to you all individually, but it means a lot to know that others support me and are willing to share their own experiences with this.

Secondly, I think the thing that’s really making my hell-spiral worse is just … money. I’m torn between wanting to do something that might, maybe, make some money now, or doing the thing I want to do, which might pay off in the future (assuming there is, in fact, a market for magical poly-triad shenanigans set in a fantasy world). The former is the mature, responsible thing to do. The latter is the thing that would nourish my soul, but not my (empty) bank account. (Unless there’s someone out there who’s looking to fund a starving artist?) I mean, I’m not so far gone that I want to just sit around doing nothing, or watching TV, or playing video games (not all day, anyway), but there’s a part of me that thinks working on my original piece is pretty fucking selfish. That my writing should have a purpose, and that that purpose should be making rent.

Thirdly, I guess I’m kind of struck by the idea that there are more people out there like me, but who are just more mature and responsible, and so they’re not working on their magnum opus because they’ve made the choice to focus on what will get them paid, get food on the table and keep a roof over their heads. And so how many great works have we lost out on, because we don’t generally have the support structure in place to encourage artists to make the art they want to make? I’m not really sure where I’m going with that, just that it makes me sad to think we could have more wonderful worlds to explore if only their creators didn’t have to be responsible adults?

staff:

People of Tumblr, we’re throwing up the Bat Signal.

Though this Administration has vowed today to sign an executive order that would end the separation of families at the border stemming from its “zero tolerance” policy, we must continue to apply pressure and do our part. Families should have never been separated in the first place.

Here are five ways that you can help:

1. Call your Senator and let them know that immigration reform is still needed. Call the Senate switchboard at (202) 224-3121 and ask for your Senator’s office.

2. Donate to organizations that are providing support to immigrant families being held in detention centers all over the country:

  • The Florence Immigration Project – The Florence Project is providing free legal and social services to migrants being detained in Arizona.
  • The Texas Civil Rights Project – Lawyers in Texas have banned together to fight for “equality and justice in and out of the courts.”
  • ACLU of Texas Border Rights Center
  • RAICES Bond Fund – This fund provides money to release parents from detention centers so they can look for their kids.
  • CARA Family Detention Pro Bono Project – CARA provides legal representation for families in detention centers.
  • KIND – Kids In Need of Defense (KIND) provides legal representation for unaccompanied minors in detention centers. They’ve also provided other ways for you to help oppose family separation here.
  • CARA Pro Bono Project – Help alleviate the cost of housing for volunteer lawyers, as well as sending coloring books to those children in detention centers.
  • Refugee Caravan – Donate what you can to help detained immigrants make phone calls to their families and lawyers.

3. Contact the Immigration Justice Campaign if you, or someone you know, are fluent in Spanish and can assists lawyers at the border over the phone as an interpreter.

4. Contact Northwest Immigrant Rights Project and volunteer your services as a Spanish-speaking interpreter or as a lawyer for those parents who have been sent to the state of Washington without their children.

5. If you’re a lawyer, law student, paralegal or Spanish-speaking interpreter, contact the Dilley Pro Bono Project for a week-long shift as a volunteer in Texas.

Let’s do what we can to right this wrong because children and families should never have to suffer these kinds of irreparable trauma.

Resources to help child immigrants & fight family separation

nicolayoon:

via Today.com (How to Help Immigrant Children)

  • Together Rising Love Flash Mob. Organized by best-selling author and blogger Glennon Doyle through her non-profit organization, the fundraising effort will go to provide bilingual legal and advocacy assistance for 60 children, aged 12 months to 10 years, currently separated from their parents in an Arizona detention center. Their first priority will be to establish and maintain contact between children and their parents, with the ultimate goal of reunification and safety and rehabilitation for the children.
  • The Florence Project and Refugee Rights Project. This organization provides legal assistance and social services to detained immigrants in Arizona.
  • The Young Center for Immigrant Children’s Rights. This organization works for the rights of children in immigration proceedings.
  • Kids In Need Of Defense (KIND). This organization works to ensure that no child appears in immigration court alone without representation.
  • Asylum Seeker Advocacy Project. They work to prevent the deportation of asylum-seeking families fleeing violence.

via slate.com (How you can fight family separation)

• The ACLU is litigating this policy in California.

• If you’re an immigration lawyer, the American Immigration Lawyers Association will be sending around a volunteer list for you to help represent the women and men with their asylum screening, bond hearings, ongoing asylum representation, etc. Please sign up.

• Al Otro Lado is a binational organization that works to offer legal services to deportees and migrants in Tijuana, Mexico, including deportee parents whose children remain in the U.S.

• CARA—a consortium of the Catholic Legal Immigration Network, the American Immigration Council, the Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services, and the American Immigration Lawyers Association—provides legal services at family detention centers.

• The Florence Project is an Arizona project offering free legal services to men, women, and unaccompanied children in immigration custody.

• Human Rights First is a national organization with roots in Houston that needs help from lawyers too.

• Kids in Need of Defense works to ensure that kids do not appear in immigration court without representation, and to lobby for policies that advocate for children’s legal interests. Donate here.

• The Legal Aid Justice Center is a Virginia-based center providing unaccompanied minors legal services and representation.

• Pueblo Sin Fronteras is an organization that provides humanitarian aid and shelter to migrants on their way to the U.S.

• RAICES is the largest immigration nonprofit in Texas offering free and low-cost legal services to immigrant children and families. Donate here and sign up as a volunteer here.

• The Texas Civil Rights Project is seeking “volunteers who speak Spanish, Mam, Q’eqchi’ or K’iche’ and have paralegal or legal assistant experience.”

• Together Rising is another Virginia-based organization that’s helping provide legal assistance for 60 migrant children who were separated from their parents and are currently detained in Arizona.

• The Urban Justice Center’s Asylum Seeker Advocacy Project is working to keep families together.

• Women’s Refugee Commission advocates for the rights and protection of women, children, and youth fleeing violence and persecution.

• Finally, ActBlue has aggregated many of these groups under a single button.

This list isn’t comprehensive, so let us know what else is happening. And please call your elected officials, stay tuned for demonstrations, hug your children, and be grateful if you are not currently dependent on the basic humanity of U.S. policy.

Stupid Fucking Brain.

I am, as is rapidly becoming tradition (yes, hello, thanks, anxiety and depression) trapped in a hell-spiral with regards to my writing. (This ended up super fucking long, so if you actually want to read this, I’ve put it after the break.)

I have an original work that is … well, it’s there, at the forefront of my mind. I rather desperately want to work on it. The characters are very real to me, the plot is rapidly unfolding inside my brain, and I’m just … I’m so fucking excited about it. It’s something I want to read, myself, and it pisses me off that it’s not already written. That it’s not a book I can buy in a store or check out of the library and just sit down and enjoy.

But – and it’s presently a big but (heh, big butt) – no one is going to pay me for it. Even if I write it, it’ll be hard to get it published. A fantasy novel: sure, fine, whatever, there’s lots of those. The main cast? A stable poly triad and the 14-year-old ace girl they’ve “adopted” (although honestly she’s the most stable, functional “adult” of the bunch). It’s not, I think, marketable (there’s no will they/won’t they angst regarding their relationship, it’s a stable triad and not a love triangle, and the 14yo isn’t going to become torn between two equally boring white dudes at some point in the plot because that trope is so fucking done). So I want to work on it – desperately, passionately, so much so that I’m dreaming about it – but my stupid anxiety brain tells me it’s a waste of time, that I should be working on something people will pay me for.

So then I think, well, okay, I could work on my fanfiction. And yeah, no one is paying me for that, but it gets me an audience, and maybe … maybe one of my readers would want to commission me for a piece? (I just finished reading one work on AO3 where the author was “sponsored” for each chapter, and my broke-ass self is like “Okay, how do I get on board with that?”) And then anxiety takes over again, because I have no idea how to ask people to commission me, how to market myself, how much my commissions would even be worth (one Ko-Fi is, what, $5? but surely my time is worth more than that?), and how to arrange payment.

So then I’m like, yeah, okay, remember that idea about writing erotica and publishing it on Amazon or some shit? Except that again, anxiety. Because I don’t know how to do that, either, even though I’ve been researching it like mad. (To be honest it’s the book covers; you need a flashy cover to catch your potential reader’s attention, and I have zero design skills and no money.) Plus … I don’t want to work on erotica right now. I want to work on my OW, so it’s hard to find the enthusiasm and creativity to write smut.

And then we go back to my original issue, which is that the only story I want to work on is the one I won’t get paid for. So then I think, well, what about setting up a Ko-Fi or a Patreon, and people could pay me that way? Except that who will? And how do I even do it? Do I need someone to literally hold my hand through the entire process of setting up one of those sites? (Yes, possibly.)

And I’m left wondering: do normal people even have this problem? Like, you get up, day to day, go about your life and not have to worry about this wonderful world you’ve got living inside your head, aching to come out? You can just … go to work and function and get paid? How selfish am I, that I feel like I need to work on this story, even though it’s not going to go anywhere, even though my partner is freaking out because we need money and I can’t find work anywhere else? Sometimes I just want it to be just me, so that the only person I need to worry about starving or not having a roof over their head is me, and I can work on my writing without worrying about letting someone else down.

So here I am, in this hell-spiral. I want to write, but if I start work on the piece that won’t be marketable I feel guilty and selfish, and if I work on anything else I’m distracted by what I want to be working on. So I do nothing, and feel even worse for it. My stupid fucking brain.

angryfishtrap:

asymbina:

ain-individual:

thantos1991:

sunshineyr:

candidlyautistic:

lokiago:

candidlyautistic:

letschristianfeministus:

ladymdej:

candidlyautistic:

That autistic / ADHD feel when you want to do… something.

I call this “activity cravings” because it’s like when you want a certain food but you aren’t sure which food. But for activities.

Do I want to go for a walk? Play a game? If so, what kind of game? DO I want to make things? Read? Watch tv? A movie?

then when that executive dysfunction comes into play and since you could do literally anything in the world, you end up trapped and unable to choose anything to do at all, and do nothing instead but live in that restlessness

One of the best additions to this post yet. This is one of those nuances of choice paralysis that people fail to understand – sometimes it is because we lack the executive function to choose, sometimes we want to do all the things and can’t choose.

And, if your depressive anhedonia kicks in, even if you DO decide on something, you quit 10 minutes later because the thing just isn’t doing it for you.

afzklnieasf

god this post is such a mood, all the time

Me on my days off from work

Do I have “I’m Not Being Productive Enough” fatigue or “I Need A Break From Productivity” fatigue?

Will I become an overworked wreck or an underworked anxiety ball? tune in next w

jeez just tag me next time

same damnit

I don’t have a ao3 account but I just wanted to let you know that I’m really really enjoying your Scars Beyond Counting I’m not a writer so anything I could say would be basically worthless but I just thought you should know… ‘S pretty good… Sorry

Oh my goodness, please don’t apologize! You don’t have to be a writer to have an opinion on whether or not you enjoy something, and I’m glad you’re enjoying my contribution to the DA:I fandom! (Apologies for you being unable to comment on AO3; I’ve had unpleasant experiences with people hid behind their anonymity to bash me.)

Thank you for your lovely comment, and I’m happy you’re enjoying my work!  🙂

politicalprof:

nikator:

miseducatedmelanicmuse:

espressokisses:

critically-yours:

miseducatedmelanicmuse:

flyerfemalecompanion:

notoriousthuggg:

miseducatedmelanicmuse:

Please reblog, this is so important.

I needed this

Is this foreal?

Yes it’s a real service. I do volunteer work for a rape crisis support service in my city and texting is one of the features we provide as well. But just to boost its credibility, I tried it myself:

reblog to save lives!

You can also text “Steve” to 741741 if you’re a young person of color. The website for more info is stevefund.org

My understanding is that it’s more multicultural and some folks feel more comfy with that in mind!

^^^^^THIS

get help guys, please. if you’re hurting, don’t let that hurt consume you. seek help.

I never knew this. It’s spectacular.

Scars Beyond Counting – salacious_crumpet – Dragon Age: Inquisition [Archive of Our Own]

Chapters: 16/?
Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age – All Media Types
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford
Characters: Cullen Rutherford, Iron Bull, Solas (Dragon Age)
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Torture, Past Torture, Action/Adventure, Male Friendship, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Explicit Language, Post-Demands of the Qun (Inquisition), Trespasser DLC, Spoilers, Whump, Touch-Starved, Unreliable Narrator
Summary:

Commander Cullen Rutherford, the Iron Bull and Solas are taken captive and must rely upon each other to escape.

Scars Beyond Counting – salacious_crumpet – Dragon Age: Inquisition [Archive of Our Own]